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15 Dating Tips I Wish I'd Followed While I Was Single

by Brianna Jj (2021-03-31)


When I started seeing my husband (the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about), I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating.

In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong. I didn't have very much fun at it, which is depressing since I didn't pair up until my 30's.

Besides, so much luck was involved in my finding my match that there are probably more alternate universes where I'm still living solo than where I'm married.

I realize that my past experiences have made me who I am today, but I still wish I could go back in time and give some dating tips to poor, clueless, "younger me" about relationships.

I could've written three novels, started a business, and hiked the Appalachian Trail with all the wasted time and energy. It's too late for me, but maybe you can learn from what I wish I knew when I was single by following the dating advice I wish I'd taken.

These are the dating tips I wish I'd followed when I was still single myself.

RELATED: How To Know If What You're Feeling Is Real, True Love

1. Set your priorities straight.

Finding a romantic partner is only one of many goals you can have at once.

There's a difference between making something a priority and having an obsession. No one wants to be the Captain Ahab of the dating world.

One of the best pieces of dating advice I have gotten is that relationships are great, but don't obsess over them!

2. Know exactly what you want in a person — and don't compromise.

For example, when you like a guy and your mutual friends have multiple anecdotes about him projectile vomiting after excessive drinking, you may need to rethink the infatuation.

You didn't like it when your godson hurled on you, and he's a toddler.

3. Know what real love is about.

It's not about getting someone to think you're good enough for them.

It’s about finding someone you can stand to spend a ridiculous amount of time with. It's about finding the puzzle piece you fit with and the Ernie to your Bert.

"Speak up and be authentic, connect over your dreams and goals, and evaluate if you two are a values match. This is how you create a long-lasting, soul-satisfying partnership that will last a lifetime," suggest dating coaches Orna and Matthew Walters.

4. Don't assume someone's sexual orientation.

I've been one to fall for a guy who is just never going to be sexually attracted to you — or any woman, for that matter.

Here's a tip: work on finding out what their sexual orientation is before going after them. It'll make your life much easier.

5. Don't let anyone take advantage of you.

Sometimes boyfriends have little annoying habits. And sometimes they have small behaviors that indicate a complete lack of respect.

If you wouldn't let your friend's sweetie talk to her that way, don't put up with it yourself.

6. Look for love in the right places.

If you're bored out of your mind at the local bar on Saturday night, you're probably not going to meet anyone there who's going to liven up your evening. Instead of downing an extra cocktail to numb the ennui, think of somewhere else to go next weekend that you might actually enjoy.

If your friends don't want to join you, go anyway. Bonus dating advice: you don't always have to bring your friends!

7. Know your worth.

Stop worrying about potential paramours rejecting you for being too fat, too short, too whatever. It's entirely possible that you would've had to reject them for never having seen Star Wars (your essential piece of pop culture may vary) anyway.

People who simply are "not the right fit" exist. The sooner you weed them out of your life, the happier you'll be.

RELATED: Modern Relationship Advice That Is Key To Cultivating A Good Relationship

8. Understand your feelings.

If you don't understand your feelings, things could get messy fast.

"Feelings are terrific servants but terrible masters," Relationship Coach Tony Vear advises. "If you don't know how to manage your feelings, you won't be able to treat people the way they want to be treated because love is for giving, not for getting."

9. Go to movies by yourself.

The same goes for museums, parks, and concerts. When you're part of a couple, you miss being free to follow your every whim.



Replies

Re: 15 Dating Tips I Wish I'd Followed While I Was Single

by Nolan ssss (2021-03-31)

Thank you a lot for this article, these tips were really helpful for me. Right now I want to find some dating resources and this one -... Read more



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